Disowning Letting go of the ones who have hurt you publicly, without regard for feelings or basic human kindness can sometimes be a difficult thing to do - especially if they are your family. "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof." -- Richard David Bach

रेसेअर्च मेथोड्स

I don't know what the title font is all about. I am journaling because it's required for my new course.
This week you will use your journal to refresh yourself on some basic research terms and reflect upon your current understanding of the research process.

Term Definitions: Conduct out a Web search of the following terms and write a short definition of each:

Theory - a coherent group of tested general propositions, commonly regarded as correct, that can be used as principles of explanation and prediction for a class of phenomena: Einstein's theory of relativity. Synonyms: principle, law, doctrine.
Measurement - 1.the act of measuring.2.a measured dimension.3.extent, size, etc., ascertained by measuring.4.a system of measuring or measures: liquid measurement.
Inference - 1.the act or process of inferring.2.something that is inferred: to make rash inferences.3.Logic .a.the process of deriving the strict logical consequences of assumed premises.b.the process of arriving at some conclusion that, though it is not logically derivable from the assumed premises, possesses some degree of probability relative to the premises.c.a proposition reached by a process of inference.
Generalization -the act or process of generalizing.2.a result of this process; a general statement, idea, or principle.3.Logic .a.a proposition asserting something to be true either of all members of a certain class or of an indefinite part of that class.b.the process of obtaining such propositions.
Data -1.a plural of datum.2.( used with a plural verb ) individual facts, statistics, or items of information: These data represent the results of our analyses. Data are entered by terminal for immediate processing by the computer.
3.( used with a singular verb ) a body of facts; information: Additional data is available from the president of the firm.

Research Self-Assessment: This process of research seems like getting into a frame of mind that I've participated in during checkpoints in my life. Though I selected the typical label: quantitative, qualitative, mixed methods, I found that the dissertation proposal process is much more specific than I anticipated. We spent nearly an entire Track 2 colloquium developing questions and discussing methods of research. I am both excited and reserved about attending the next colloquium in June.

Specific to research, my first post discussed an example research proposal and though I thoughts I was on track, I reviewed it the next day and found I had proposed an example of the qualitative process when what I was after was the scientific method.

I was quite impressed with the research proposals at Track 2 except for one student, proposing a dissertation related to dance, who said something to the effect that she didn't really care what method or topic she selected, she just wanted the "doctor" attached to her name. I left there wondering why she doesn't just buy a dissertation then. *tongue in cheek*

Senses - sensual - sensory

I used to label people who described the delightful aroma of a freshly squeezed orange as slightly off kilter. Get on with the task - no need to smell any roses on the way to accomplishment.
The past month of my life has forced me to slow things down a bit and I have found myself doing some strange things. The other day, I put a plush rug next to my bed, for the sole purpose of being able to pause for a moment when I wake up - to plunge my toes into the softness of velour.
Then, I started noticing scents. My sensory system started taking notice of the smell of the musty pile of leaves next to the back door. I started stopping at all junctures of my week to close my eyes and smell my surroundings. Alas, this led to my experimenting with my pillow. At first, it was a few drops of lavender on the pillowcase, but then it became an opportunity to drink in these smells before sleep. Last night it was lavender and lemon oil.
Perhaps I am a sensory late-bloomer, but my sense awakening is probably more indicative of a person who has been driven to achieve and succeed, to work at full speed and prove...that I can do it? "Type A" has now become a label to attempt to balance with enjoyment of life.
Life has purpose, yes, but life is also meant to be enjoyed. I am grateful for very normal and routine things such as the fan that is in the window and brings in cool air before the heat sets in. There is something completely delightful about this new found sensory awareness. It doesn't even matter to me that people shoot sideways glances at me as I stand still in the parking lot, close my eyes, and pause to drink in the smells and sounds of a surrounding I used to rush through.

Evolution

I didn't realize people change so much in a lifetime. Is that what keeps people from becoming bored looking at the same person in the mirror for 90 years?

Minimalist

When did I start accumulating all this stuff? I have begun to think about moving: to a cheaper apartment, to Maryland, or to a new month. I sat in the bathroom this morning and realized I have nine liters of shampoo and conditioner. I have been working on these for quite a while, but then there is a new sale.
Flashback to the trailer in Springfield, Oregon and Dad has just brought home about 30 new boxes of cereal. The Grocery Warehouse is his opiate. He buys cereal I've never heard of with vaguely familiar names. There are Apple Jumps, Fruit Hoops, and Happy-O's. There are boxes and boxes of corn flakes and puffed rice cereals, his favorites. But along with all that cereal, I very distinctly remember the first time I found mealy worm type creatures in the bottom of the box. I quit eating cereal. Dad continued to buy more, figuring the odds of finding bugs still made these boxes a bargain.
When did I start becoming so attached to things? In the past year I have been trying to break this cycle and move towards minimalist living. I'm not even close to the goal, but the contributions I've made this year of clothing, shoes, and bedding would fill a pickup truck. It's a start. I've got another truck full downstairs waiting for the charity to pick it up. I imagine a happy, simple life with the mattress on the floor and a chair and lamp. I don't know why that sounds so good right now.
The truth is, really, I'm tired of taking care of things. All these things. I'm tired of moving them, taking them out of closets, looking at them, and putting them back. They are not sentimental mementos. They are things I know I will need, use, and have to buy someday. But it has become my opiate. I miss the stuff that is downstairs waiting to be hauled away. I will need it someday. I remembered a knitting book down there when a friend talked to me today about how to finish off a scarf. I knew I would need it and I almost gave it away.
If I step into minimal, I can let go of all this needing. I can be free from the pull this stuff has on me. Who is it that said all the things we own are like pieces in a Monopoly game? When our life is over, all the pieces go back in the boxes.
Anyone want some things? I'll unload them cheap, real cheap.

Rice pudding

My friends told me tonight that I could never live in a commune because no one would ever eat my food. Testament to that statement is my experiment last night with rice pudding. My mom made it a couple of weeks ago and it sounded good. I didn't actually think of rice pudding until I had already cooked a big batch of brown rice. Now, I don't know if I'm the only person who has ever made rice pudding with brown rice, but I think I might be. It also might be a safe bet that the brown rice combined with soy milk with vanilla has only been attempted by destitute individuals.
The gray/brown milky substance looked like grains of wheat immersed in a mud puddle. I stirred and stirred for 40 minutes and it only got uglier. Finally, I dished my concoction into custard cups.
I opened the fridge tonight and remembered my dessert. I chewed my rice pudding and wondered why brown rice is tougher than white rice. I also don't know if the soy milk producers envisioned pudding as the final product. It tasted pretty good by my standards. On the other hand, it probably won't be a commune fav.

Swimming in Flax Seed

With the advent of this lovely inherited *thanks Grams* gluten intolerance, I have begun to get in touch with my earthy side, aka earth muffin, hippie, tree hugger, radical.
Years ago, probably 25, I used to think my dear sister Orly was not off her rocker, but maybe tilting close to the edge. First, she began this off the wall practice of shopping for organic items. This was simply not done in our small town. Then before you knew it she started visiting a witch doctor, aka Health Food Store. She would bring home the strangest things like raw sugar, honey, and whole wheat flour. She began sprinkling wheat germ on her muffins, she bought "natural" yogurt and flavored her own. These were strange times at her kitchen counter. Everything that we'd grown up with was bleached, processed, and pasteurized. The whole thing had an eerie feel to it. What were the long-term consequences of eating this stuff? Granted, in the beginning, she didn't quite have the feel for how to manipulate recipes and ingredients and some of the stuff, to my delight, was just downright yucky!
Who would have thought, looking back, that she was about 10-15 years ahead of her time. Had we purchased Whole Foods, or Nature's Grocers shares back then, we'd be swimming in flax seed all the way to the bank!
A little late, but I finally began to care about what I put in my body - and how the packaging, processing, and product affects the environment. My cupboard is now full of 11 different flours, three kinds of raw honey, raw sugars, natural flavors, organic spices, and a conglomerate of healthy snacks. My favorite are the beet chips.
I do feel healthier now then when I used to eat Big Mac's (minus the meat patties) two or three at a time, downed with Diet Coke and salty fries. Much like Orly felt back then, I would like to convert the few remaining souls who still eat $1.19 mass produced white bread. I want to show them the multi grain benefits of healthier offerings. I want to show them that cola's have no nutritional value at all.
I've thought of opening a restaurant many times. I would love to have a little cafe similar to one I've visited in Breckenridge and Gunnison. It would have healthy offerings, and most importantly, it could provide tasteful dishes without gluten, processed, or bleached foods. I don't think the restaurant will ever happen, so I'll just continue to create receipes for friends and family.
I wish I would've listened to Orly back then and not feared the unknown. I did learn one of the important lessons we all need to tackle though. Traditions are meant to be improved upon. I guess I'll listen to my sister more when I see her next. I could've been swimming in flax seed.